A gift from motherhood I didn’t expect

OK, can I just start off by saying how WEIRD that, in yesterday’s post, I consciously chose to risk being visible in my not-yet-knowing, how-might-I-get-there state and intentionally invited input from you all, only to discover this morning that the comment function on that post had been disabled? I mean, it’s really weird. That sort of thing is automated. It’s not like I “forgot” to enable it, he he. It’s ALWAYS enabled. But somehow, it got switched when I published that post. Weird.

Anyway, it’s been corrected and comments are, once again, allowed and highly encouraged!! As a matter of note, too, I do make an effort to respond to comments. So, if you’ve commented, or liked someone else’s comment, do check back over the next couple of days because there might be more to the conversation. I don’t respond to every comment, but many.

OK… On to today’s post.

I’m feeling incredibly excited this morning. I offered my first ever, official coaching call today which went really well, I thought. We accomplished what we’d set out to do and there were a couple of really powerful moments of release and transition. Plus, I felt really guided throughout the call. Having never done it before, I didn’t know if I would be inspired or be able to intuit what was needed, but there was a lot flowing through me. Phew! Big relief!

I also got a great e-mail from my sister (in lieu of a comment on yesterday’s comments-disabled post) about speaking to elite athletes. I’d never thought of that, but it’s my sister’s world and now that she’s mentioned it, it seems like a great idea. And since it’s her world, a starting place won’t be hard to find.

All this excitement has got me feeling a bit light-headed actually. A little too much oxygen, I think. (Funny that. Usually there’s not enough oxygen as I clamp down in resistance and fear… Progress?). I need to deepen my breath and let the good feeling of this morning, this forward movement, just vibrate a little within me.

The path to said deepening and vibrating is turning out to be Aidan’s songs.

There are a handful of songs that we sing to Aidan, many of which we either composed or adapted from other songs. For instance… “There once was a boy who wiggled a lot and Aidan was his name-o. A-I-D-A-N, A-I-D-A-N, A-I-D-A-N, and Aidan was his name-o.” You can guess where that comes from. And there’s “Aidan is a beautiful boy. Aidan is a growing boy. Aidan is a very sweet boy. Aidan is my boy.” That’s a little chant I wrote over the first few weeks of Aidan’s life and have been singing ever since.

Well, a few of Aidan’s songs have become standard and favorite go-to-sleep songs.

Dean used to sing a medley of songs to calm Aidan’s crying during those first few fussy months. It was Swing Low, Sweet Chariot; When the Saints Come Marching In; She’ll be Coming Around the Mountain; and Chain Gang (hmmmmm, how was Dean feeling about fatherhood?). Since then, he’s dropped Chain Gang (either because he’s feeling better about fatherhood or because his wife convinced him it wasn’t an appropriate song) and re-written the lyrics for Aidan. “Sleep now, sweet Aidan. Drift away into your dreams. Sleep now, sweet Aidan. Drift away into your dreams…”

At bedtime, I tend to sing either the song Dean wrote for me on the occasion of our wedding, or The Itsy Bitsy Spider, depending on my mood.

Well, today in the kitchen making lunch, feeling a little more buzzy than I like, I found myself singing Itsy Bitsy Spider, slow and soft, just like I do for Aidan when he’s falling asleep. And later in the day, I caught myself singing Dean’s medley. Both times, I was unconsciously using the songs to calm myself down. And both times, it was working.

There is something so sweet about those songs sung in that way. The warmth that they hold. The security. The love. Of course, that’s why we sing them, so that Aidan will feel all those things and more easily surrender to sleep. Turns out, he’s not the only one lulled. For this mama, even when her boy isn’t there and isn’t sleeping, those songs offer deep comfort, a soft bed for my soul to settle down and be still. That’s a gift from motherhood I didn’t expect. And I’m so grateful.


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One Response to A gift from motherhood I didn’t expect

  1. Dean says:

    And when the sun
    Comes shining in
    Oh, when the sun comes shining in
    I will be right here beside you
    When the sun comes shining in

    Gladly, gratefully beside you.

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