We are L O U S Y at valuing ourselves

This past week marked the beginning of my son’s summer vacation. He doesn’t really get what that means yet; he’s only four and went to school only a few mornings a week last year. But I’m excited on his behalf.

To commemorate this grand milestone (the first of many “schools out!” moments), we drove down to San Diego to visit dear family and friends, eat great meals, and best of all…. Legoland. (Sorry, no photos. I always long to share but when I’m in the moment, taking photos often feels intrusive.)

For me, it was a chance to unwind and enjoy my family in a concentrated shot in a place of beauty and fun…

Simply, it was food. And food felt goooooood.

So why is it so hard to let ourselves be nourished?

Why is it so hard not only to make time, but to insist on time that feeds us?

Why do we resist opportunities to be supported and sustained?

Why do we fight to maintain a status quo that feels crappy, or settle for tiny steps in a new direction?

I’ll tell you why (because I’m super familiar with it).

We do those things because, fundamentally, we are lousy at valuing ourselves.

Let’s let that sink in for a minute….

We are L O U S Y at valuing ourselves.

We are absolute pros at valuing everything else —  the people we love, our work, all the other responsibilities that fill our lives. We’re like strong men doing bicep curls with a small puppy.

But when it comes to gifting ourselves with support… with nourishment, attention, luxury, time, focus, intention, healing…. we are the 90-pound weakling struggling to lift her own arm.

It’s then that the limitations really come out to play. It’s then that obstacles appear their most real, their most intractable. And we are least equipped to challenge, much less scale, the wall rising before us.

But it felt good this past weekend. It felt good to put my computer down, open my heart to the sunshine, and put myself directly in the path of love and support. It felt good to let myself be nourished, to choose myself over the obstacles.

Were there reasons not to go? Good heavens, yes.

Could we have easily chosen not to? Yep.

Would it have made sense on some levels not to go? Yes!!

But I don’t want to be a 90-pound weakling when it comes to nourishing myself. I don’t want to be forever in the habit of choosing myself last. I don’t want to be sustained on a diet of raw nerves, obligation, fear, and immobility.

I want to be free. I want to be full. I want to be a Shero, who serves the world not by sacrificing herself, but by honoring herself so deeply, the rest of the world benefits.

So, I chose to work the muscle and we made the choice to go. And it was heaven.

I hope when the opportunity for nourishment presents itself to you, you’ll muster whatever strength you have and say yes.

Simply, you are that valuable. Maybe it’s time to put yourself directly in the path of support and love.


It’s not too late to join the Group Shero’s Retreat. Nourishment, support, and healing are just waiting for you to choose yourself. Let’s talk, and start working that muscle. (Registration closes on Sunday.)

Click here for more info and to apply.


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